TRUE STORY
I promise, I wouldn’t tell the readers of I Can Explain a fib—or a lie. It’s true. My husband took a squirrel to church. Here’s how it came about.
This summer we have been inundated with squirrels in our backyard trying to get on the feeder and eat the bird’s food. Please note: birds are welcome in our yard, not squirrels. Oh, yeah. The only exception is the big grackle that on occasion likes to slam into my dining room window.
Back to the squirrels. My husband has a theory that if he merely thins out the squirrel population, they will no longer venture into our yard. So, he set up squirrel cages by the bird feeder. Actually, he’s been quite successful. So far, he’s caught and released 8 squirrels. Lest you think him cruel, he lets them go in another forest environment where they can get to know another squirrel family. At least ten miles from our house.
So, one Sunday afternoon, Joe had a deacon’s meeting at the church. That morning another squirrel had decided to hang out in the cage. Since our church is surrounded by a lush forest environment, he put the cage in his trunk so he could release the animal into the forest. Kill two birds with one stone. Whoops, that didn’t sound right.
Good plan, right? Joe parked at the church, the trunk facing the forested area and opened the cage. Instead of running toward the trees, the squirrel took off across the parking lot. Joe lost sight of him about that time and meandered toward our church’s entrance.
At the entrance to our church, glass doors open to a small foyer, then there’s another set of glass doors. In the first foyer, Joe’s friend Mark was jumping around and waving his hands. You guessed it. The squirrel was inside the first foyer looking for a way to get into the sanctuary.
Joe joined Mark in holding the doors open and shooing the confused animal out of the building. Finally, the little guy left. I hope he went to join new friends in the forest, but I’m not 100% sure.