My life is plugging along just fine, and I know God’s looking out for me. Why is it, then, when on occasion, I awake in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep? Thought after ruthless thought rushes through my mind—about things that happened in the past.
Did I make the right decision to retire when I did? No! If I had worked longer, my retirement pay would’ve been more. (I’m getting along just fine on what I make.) I should’ve continued to travel in my RV and visited more places in the US. It doesn’t matter I have that tug on my heart that tells me to become more connected with other believers and dwell in a place called home.
What about the choice I made forty years ago to be a career woman? Did my kids suffer as a result?
Oh, yeah. What about that financial decision we made not to buy stock in Health-South? Would we have prospered financially had we done so?
Nothing to do but get out of bed and pace the floor while I ponder my potential mistakes.
Wait a minute. It’s twelve-thirty a.m. What’s going on? What possible good would walking around the house do? Besides, nothing can change the past.
I force my rebellious heart to embrace Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.”
I’ve trusted in the Lord since the day I got saved. I repeat the scripture in my mind. Next thing I know, it’s morning. Midnight panic resulted in an amazing opportunity to exercise my faith.