Panic at Midnight

My life is plugging along just fine, and I know God’s looking out for me. Why is it, then, when on occasion, I awake in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep? Thought after ruthless thought rushes through my mind—about things that happened in the past. 

Did I make the right decision to retire when I did? No! If I had worked longer, my retirement pay would’ve been more. (I’m getting along just fine on what I make.) I should’ve continued to travel in my RV and visited more places in the US. It doesn’t matter I have that tug on my heart that tells me to become more connected with other believers and dwell in a place called home.

What about the choice I made forty years ago to be a career woman? Did my kids suffer as a result? 

Oh, yeah. What about that financial decision we made not to buy stock in Health-South? Would we have prospered financially had we done so? 

Nothing to do but get out of bed and pace the floor while I ponder my potential mistakes. 

Wait a minute. It’s twelve-thirty a.m. What’s going on? What possible good would walking around the house do? Besides, nothing can change the past.

I force my rebellious heart to embrace Proverbs 3:5-6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and He will make your paths straight.”

I’ve trusted in the Lord since the day I got saved. I repeat the scripture in my mind. Next thing I know, it’s morning. Midnight panic resulted in an amazing opportunity to exercise my faith.

6 thoughts on “Panic at Midnight”

    1. Cathy, I am so grateful to be able to help even one person, because that one is important to the Lord. You! Your comment reminds me we are not alone in our walk on this earth, that others suffer the same fears and hardships. Thank you so much for commenting.

  1. June, I have been there, too. I love how you share that “Midnight panic resulted in an amazing opportunity to exercise my faith.” Each moment can be a learning and growing experience. Each moment can draw us closer to God.

  2. Thank you. Your inspiration settles ny anxious thoughts. I get up and pray and journal sometimes. It is a comfort to know we are on our journey together, I am never alone. We are stronger when we are together.

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